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  • Writer's pictureBenjamin France

Would You Talk To A Friend Like That...?


“I’m not good enough.”


“I can’t do this.”


“I’m a failure.”


“I’m never going to change, so why even bother trying.”



Sound familiar? If so, welcome to the difficult world of struggling with negative self-talk.


What is it?

Negative self-talk refers to the internal dialogue that you may have with yourself that is characterized by negative, pessimistic, and self-defeating thoughts and beliefs. Negative self-talk can be triggered by a variety of factors, such as past experiences or traumas, societal and cultural norms, and negative thinking patterns and habits. These negative thoughts and beliefs can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional health, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Negative self-talk can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, frustration, and low self-worth, and can prevent you from taking risks, trying new things, and pursuing their goals and dreams.


Why does it matter and how does it affect me?

Recognizing and overcoming negative self-talk is important because it is closely tied to how you perceive yourself and the world around you. Your thoughts have a powerful influence on our perceptions and beliefs, and negative self-talk can cause you to view yourself and their abilities in a negative light. This can lead to feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a limited sense of what is possible. Overcoming negative self-talk requires that you become aware of your negative thought patterns and to reframe them in more positive, empowering ways. This process can involve challenging and refuting negative thoughts, practicing positive self-talk and affirmations, engaging in activities and hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment, and surrounding oneself with supportive and positive individuals. The benefits of overcoming negative self-talk are numerous and include improved mental and emotional well-being, increased self-esteem and confidence, better relationships, and a greater sense of purpose and direction. Recognizing and overcoming negative self-talk is a journey that requires effort and perseverance, but the rewards are well worth it, as you can experience greater happiness, fulfillment, and success in all areas of your life!


Where does it come from?

It is important to understand the sources of negative self-talk as a first step in recognizing and overcoming it, as this understanding can help individuals develop more effective strategies for managing their negative thoughts and beliefs.Negative self-talk can stem from a variety of sources, including past experiences and traumas, societal and cultural norms, and negative thinking patterns and habits. Past experiences, particularly those that are traumatic or difficult, can shape the way you view yourself and the world around you. This can result in negative self-talk that reinforces feelings of low self-esteem, shame, or insecurity. Societal and cultural norms can also play a role in negative self-talk by promoting unrealistic beauty standards, perfectionism, or other harmful beliefs that you may internalize. Negative thinking patterns, such as overgeneralizing or all-or-nothing thinking, can also contribute to negative self-talk by leading to negative thoughts and beliefs that are not based in reality. These patterns can become ingrained and repetitive, leading to a negative self-talk cycle that is difficult to break.


What can I do to stop doing it?

Negative self-talk can be a vicious cycle, but there are techniques that can help break the pattern and promote positive self-talk. One of the key techniques is becoming aware of when negative self-talk occurs. By paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, you can identify negative patterns and start to reframe them. Once you learn to recognize them, you can then begin the process of challenging and refuting them. This involves recognizing when a thought is not based in fact or is overly harsh and then actively countering it with a more balanced and realistic perspective. Practicing positive self-talk and affirmations can help to boost self-esteem and help to counteract negative thoughts. Engaging in activities and hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment can also help to shift the focus away from negative self-talk and onto positive experiences in your life. Finally, surrounding yourself with supportive and positive individuals can provide encouragement and help you to counteract negative self-talk patterns. Having a support system like this in place can also help to provide accountability and promote continued growth and positive self-talk.


Okay, but how do I not slip back into this pattern again?

Learning to maintain a positive mindset is an important step in overcoming negative self-talk and living a more fulfilling life. To do this, it's crucial to limit exposure to negative media and news, as constantly being bombarded with negative information can feed into negative thinking patterns. Practicing self-care and self-compassion is also key, as taking time for yourself and treating yourself with kindness and understanding can help counteract negative thoughts. Staying connected to supportive people, such as friends and family, can provide a positive source of encouragement and help to challenge negative thinking. Additionally, seeking out supportive resources, such as therapy, can provide additional guidance and support in overcoming negative self-talk and maintaining a positive mindset. By implementing these tips and prioritizing self-care and positivity, you can cultivate a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with your thoughts and emotions.


Need some help to overcome those negative thoughts that are running around in your head? If so click on the green box above to Schedule Your Free Consultation.


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